Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Bad dream

LAst night I had horrible dreams. I dreamt that I couldn't find Zach. When I finally figured out where he was, he was at the hospital. I called them and they told me he had gone into congestive heart failure. I told them to fix it, and then they told me it was too late and he had died. After screaming into the phone and crying for a long time, I had to tell my own mother, who was somehow here with me. Then I went to pick up his body, only to discover he wasn't actually dead, just blue. So I did some chest compressions (as in CPR) and he was okay. But it didn't last, and he had to be airlifted back to the hospital from our house. When they came to get him, they dangled down this strap that I was supposed to tie around him, and they lifted him up up and away. I remember watching his scared little face get farther and farther away and thinking about how much I loved him. I was so sad and scared. I'm not sure what happened because I woke up, but the raw emotion of that dream was so real and I still feel really sad and scared. I'm glad it was just a dream, but I hate it when I have bad dreams like that.
On a happier note, Zach is now CRAWLING!! And he says Mama all the time. HE can also clap and we're working on waving. As soon as I can I'll try to get a video of him crawling up! I cannot wait for this weekend, when we get to go see my dad On friday/saturday and my mom and aunt on Sunday.

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